Dear Microsoft,

Please fix the Microsoft Passport, or the applications that use it, ‘cos it never works when I try to use it. In fact, it is the most unreliable, useless heap of crap I’ve ever had to use to try to login to a website – and I’ve seen some that are pretty rubbish – but at least they didn’t, in effect, say ‘Site Closed’ all the time.

While you’re at it, please find the monkey who came up with the idea of the Microsoft Passport, and fire them. From a cannon. Into a lake of piranhas. Angry ones.

Fix it or ditch it, I don’t care, just let me at the content I need to do my job.

If a pub always says ‘We’re closed’, I stop going to it.